Class #21. releasing my attachments to BEing a yogi.

I normally would have skipped today and continued to hang out with friends, but alas, I got my butt to the last available class on a Sunday night in my hood. I went to the 1.5 hot class at Core Power. This class seemed more like an absolute beginner class and it was making me very agitated at first. In my head I was thinking: “why is this bothering me so much?” I guess sometimes your body just wants to take off and, for whatever reason, today I wanted to fly. Usually, I am pretty good about staying with the class, lowering all the way down to the floor instead of to catturunga, baby cobra instead of up dog. But today, I just wanted to go for it and the teacher would not let me! Whenever I tried to take it further, she kept saying lets ALL do “x”. She even asked my name and singled me out. So… finally I just surrendered. In other news (but likely somehow related), friends, co-workers, etc., are starting to hear about my yoga quest and are always asking me to do some “crazy” yoga poses… Ok, I have to point out that just because I am doing yoga everyday, does not mean I’m some kind of crazy gumby and can do every single arm balance out there. In fact, there are alot of things I cannot do. I’m not sure why I feel like I have something to prove. It’s always nice to have something to show for all your work and practice. But why? Who cares what anyone else thinks if I’m feeling better than ever? Yoga goes way beyond having ridiculous upper body strength and a rubber spine. It is a long journey and now that I am practicing every day, I see that even more clearly. It’s easy to make excuses in your head and say: “well, if I practiced more…I’d probably be…”. But now, I’m practicing alot and there are still many many obstacles: physically, mentally, emotionally… But, every day, I am changing my body, discovering something new, and letting go just a bit more of my ego’s need to BE a certain thing (even if that thing is yogi extraordinaire).

January 21, 2011. Tags: , . 365 days of yoga, yoga, yoga challenge. Leave a comment.